1 – Smile while you still have teeth.
2 – Only the mediocre are always at their best.
3 – If only common sense were more common.
4 – What do I do for a living? I breathe in and out.
5 – Don’t give up on your dreams so soon, sleep longer.
6 – I really should do something with my life; maybe tomorrow.
7 – Life’s like a game of chess. If only I knew how to play chess.
8 – I’m not clumsy, I’m just on a mission to rearrange the world.
9 – I didn’t fall; I’m just spending some quality time with the floor.
10 – Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone.
11 – I’m old enough to know better but young enough to do it anyway.
12 – Life’s short. Eat cake and chocolate whilst you’ve still got the chance.
13 – Life doesn’t have any hands, but it can sure give you a slap sometimes.
14 – If I had to live my life again, I’d make the same mistakes, only sooner.
15 – Life’s like a Wi-Fi signal. You never know when it’s going to drop out on you.
16 – Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
17 – Sorry, I didn’t pick up my phone, I got carried away dancing to the ringtone.
18 – Long walks are great, especially when they’re taken by people who annoy me.
19 – We all have baggage; find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack.
20 – I love to be around some people; I love to stay away from others, and some people I’d just love to punch right in the face.
21 – Life’s not a fairy tale. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re drunk.
22 – Life’s a puzzle. You have all the pieces, but you don’t know how to fit them all together.
23 – If we were on a sinking ship and there was only one life vest, I would miss you so much.
24 – Sunglasses allow you to stare at people without getting caught. It’s like Facebook in real life.
25 – When I said that I cleaned my room, I just meant I made a path from the doorway to my bed.
26 – Life is like a deck of cards. You can play your hand well or blame the dealer for your bad luck.
27 – If life gives you lemons, make lemonade. Then find someone whose life has given them vodka and have a party.
28 – Life’s like a game of hide and seek. Except sometimes, nobody’s looking for you and you’re hiding in the wrong spot.
29 – The alphabet begins with ABC; numbers begin with 123; music begins with do-re-mi, and friendship begins with you and me.
30 – Taking a shower is awesome; it makes you feel nice and clean; makes you sound like a great singer, and helps you make all of life’s decisions.
